Monday, June 23, 2008

I misspelled BUSY for a shut-in...couldnt go back and fix it

bsy for a shut-in

Yes, I'm still smokin', celibate(for another day),enlightened(musically), and far from bored.
Man-whore had another(buddy) over here. OMG she was a hoot.
Picture this...250lbs a,lets say, 44c wearing(I swear) a 32aa bra, speaks like she has a mouth full of marbles, flaming (awful) red hair, she thought she was the shit...No, I'm not jealous, I was scared, I honestly was afraid she was gonna explode out of that bra, and someone was getting hurt, how do I explain that to the paramedics? All I saw was this giant pink blur.with red flames...
Talk about feeling anorexic, next to that Barnum and Baily retiree.
So M.W's brothere was here visiting him when he takes off with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade baloon and leaves his 51 year old brother here, saying he'll be back in an hour, two days later(last night) he finally picks up his disrespected brother (along with Jimy and I) Poor Tony was running to get his stuff together before someone got in a hurry and forgot him.(again)
Poor guy, he actually needs to grow some balls and speak his mind, he's 20 years older than M.W. Jeez Louise. In the mean time I'm kinda stuck baby-sitting/entertaining, ok taking all the compliments he's giving,(the price one has to pay!)I AM, after-all, used to being left alone.I wasnt too put out, but Jimy wasnt happy about M.W. leaving him here all weekend, and bullshitting him by saying he would be right here, and never showing up.
So anyway yesterday I was in the garage working on my bike amoung other things when I was looking for a tool and smelled something REALLY bad... what I found was, ready for this? O.K. it was a clear grocery bag with some blue fabric or a mechanics papertowel in this towel, which was almost tranparent from moisture, was brown almost runny SHIT! Yes, my friends,poop, feces, cah cah. Imagine my shock... I went in and told Tony to come out and see what I found in the garage, of ciurse I told him to smell this bag I found (adds to the drama...lol) He was,too a bit on the surprised side.
I found this by M.W.'s motorcycle,towards the rear of the garage, this fact helping us figure out who the poopitrator was, this idiot named shorty(dont want to know why,but its probably a gimmee) was trying to get a hold of m.w. all day sat. and was being ignored, Shorty made about 3 or 4 trips over here, once we busted him in the garage, without announcing himself as being here.
My experience with this dna reject is this...Since I have no doors it is ok (in his excuse for a mind) to just move my blockades away and come in my room, this fact I have told him it wasnt ok to do, then he comes in again one morning and I was in bed (cant sleep au natural, this being one of the many reasons) he talks to me a bit and in my polite way am trying to tell him to go away, when he lifts off my covers and bites me on the ass! Yes, my incredioulous friends, my ASS. I was pissed off (too bad I didnt have bad gas, the ONE day last month) I couldnt believe it, I told Jimy, he was pissed off, talk about disrespect. This is looked at by he and I as assault, fuck-head is lucky I didnt have my pepper spray by the bed (guess where it is now) SDo there is a bit of my encounters with the cockroach in humans clothing. He came in the house the other day asking me if I heard him knocking I asked him if he saw me answer the door.WTF I guess this means I have to lock the freakin' door now. For someone who could knowingly transfer poop from their ass to our garage like some demented easter bunny has some issues, to say the least and is presumed unarmed (with intelligence) and dangerous. Seriously, who knows what could happen to me, I'm getting a cozy for my pepper spray and a quick-release belt holster for it too.
So one more thing, after finding the spoor I was sickened for the rest of the day, couldnt go bowling, I stayed home and cleaned my room, and thought about what I was going to say to this worm-food, I decided not top say anything, Jimy is getting a cervaillence camera and I'm installing it, it will be great enternainment, M.W spends alot of time out there with his "buddies" woo whoo. Oh yea, no one is going to know. FUN, FUN.
So another excerp from the saga-a-ga ga.
Love you all
xo

Friday, June 13, 2008

Well here is the "pram"... I think it cleaned up pretty well.

I'm gonna let Kara have it...Hopefully it will be a while before she puts it to use in the manner in which it was intended.

Actually, it would be better , as decor for a little girls room.I think its baby days are long gone...But they were built to last, werent they?


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

I had 1 cigarette to last throughout the day...What does one do in this daddy of all dilemmas?
Well I stayed busy cleaning, since it was tuesday(omg! she has a scheduled freakin' day) it seems to have self-evolved,this housework thing. Anyway, Jimy made the investment (unbeknownst to me) on cleanser, which I was surprised because sunday he told me I could use Tide (ha ha...remind your ass of anything?...hmmmmm?) So I quickly employed the Comet on the long awaited bathtub/shower, doors and all, the dirty water had a weird pink tint,kitchen and bathroom, so that done, I did my vacuuming routine (lucky Dan got me a vacuum for my b-day) really I love to suck-it-all-up as long as it runs good (or is at the right setting...ahemmm)
ok, man-whore roomie is home with his flame of this week,she's Karas age!!! (he's 30,something) she's intelligent, a single mother with a 7 month old. The baby is in Oregon with her mother.(first visit) she doesnt know what to do with herself,since he's gone, so she's hanging with Joe.I do have to admit, he is funny and he is never at a loss for words...
Well little did I realize, but Ieshia or whatever her name is and Joe have an eversion to turning off lights OR picking up after themselves, I swear, it was like two tornadoes....Ok it worked for me anyway, because it took me 5 hours to remember that I didnt smoke that precious coffin nail....and still,I only accomplished a passing thought at best, because after my freshly scrubbed tub, that I was sure to be the first to christen said tub, when kaieesha (or something like that) and Joe return from Walmart, and I mention that I was getting ready to take a bath, and who makes a b-line for the w.c. its Lowqueeshia, something christening my porcelain ( the dirty ho ) so I sit in my "room" and loudly mutter to myself " Oh, she must have heard me"
SHIT ....still, no fumar, what a test of endurance. I just forgot about the stupid thing. I look at the memory thing as a step in the right direction ( or altzheimers) either way I win...lol
So I finally get my long awaited soaking...aaahhh. By now its 5 something pm and I feel that cense of accomlishment being the fact that I take things in stride and there are far worse things that could piss me off, than running after a couple of hormone enraged fuck-machines. (can you tell its been awhile for me?) they helped me with my day and occupied my time in a constructive and mild-mannered way. Oh I almost forgot....kaveesha spent at least two hours on her phone, arguing with her baby-daddy, while Joe took a shower, played playstation,ironed,did laundry, ate,played more playstation...Talk about DRAMA every other word was the "f" word along with "I'm hanging up,now" every 5 min...
It never ends around here.
Finally, around 6 or so they leave for the evening (whew) and there is peace and quiet, I watch a little c.s.i. go in Jimy's room and observe the horrible mess that Joe has left Jimy's bed in. (TOTALLY FUCKING RUDE) and he didnt have sex on it, he ate, played ps2 etc. Jimy wasnt too happy either when he got home, we comiserated on the fact that there are some "joe" issues, and I went my merry way and proceeded to get ready for my bluffjaunt, took off around 7:15, it was breezy and delicious to my clean skin and cleaner lungs, Pooty was draggin' ass cause her food bowl was empty for a bit before we left, she's an all-day snacker dog, and she didnt seem to have the gas to trek it up the hill "tough shit" I thought to myself, on the way I dropped by the little store on the corner and got some butter, because around here the stupid stores close a dark-thirty, and we started up the hill, we got about 1/4 of a block, when sitting in the middle of the sidewalk was an antique punch-bowl set, Before I even got to it I knew what it was, and I swear I was panting"Oh MY GOd,Oh My God,Oh MY God" just under my breath , I look around, not a soul to be seen, I pick it up and hold it to my body, like it was my pregnent stomach, and away I went, back the way I came, went into the store and asked for a bag into which to put my treasure, so no one would yell at me to stop, and give them back their heirloom. "over my dead body" I would be forced to say, and they would probably oblidge this request, so disguise was the remedy, away, Pooty and I semi-trot back to the crib, when about half a blck from my abode, I spot a baby carriage,I mean the kind that you and I rode in as cotton-diaper wearing, Cat-in-the-hat,monkeys that we were. I think that was the last time I ever even SAW one. You know the lay flat or sit up,with the bonnet that accordian like closed and rode on four of the same sized wheels suspened on springs for that shock-free gliding jaunt to the grocery store where people were still allowed to smoke anywhere they damn well pleased, and anyone could beat their child, anywhere they damn well pleased, and people applauded at the sport.
Well there was a sign on it that said "free". Ok whats the catch?
Chemical "free"?
Dye"free".
Free Willy?
Just then a guy came out to have a freakin" smoke and I asked him if it was true...He said yes. "Cool" I said I needed something to carry my punchbowl set in...
So there you go, I sent a pic of the pb set, I will send a pic later, of the pram, its having a rust removal treatment, by the severity of the rust it will have to sit all night. So there you go, my adventure, it was an interesting day for a shut-in like me...lol
Love...Me

Monday, June 9, 2008


Sorry to make you old ladies work for it...lol
I dont know how to disable it...try the little blue wheelchair next to the space for the "word"...It may not help, or it scare you...its twilight zone fodder, for sure.
I talk about the "chinese lady" syndrome all the time. LOL
Meet ant "Rhetas lately?
About my roommate thing. I'm not seeing any action, which is cool, I dont want to complicate anything, with the "Hotty" that I am (right).
My one roomie is a man whore, he's here on the sly, and has to become scarce when Mom and Pops show up. (oh the tangled web we weave)
Tickle yur ass with a feather, anyone???
Last week I started walking Pooty in the evenings, we walk the bluffs, its windy and pleasent around 6-7pm. She loves it, especially when we walk the grass area, there is asphalt for walking and there are wide grassy areas for horseback, there arent any riders so we pretty much stick to the grass, so I can drop the leash, and no one will freak "eeek, Pitbull!" the worse that could happen is that she would beat them to death with her wildly wagging tail! But hey, I can walk undisturbed, she got the looks.
I"m gonna end this for now...lets see what my ever-exciting day brings,
I promise, I will make updating my blog a part of my routine...
Love you all...me

Friday, June 6, 2008

Ok...I give in!

Hi,friends
Here is the long awaited blog...
I encouraged my daughter to blog about a problem she was having with her B.F. since, like all men, he has a hard time listening to her (it must be a pitch thing!) Anyway, I figured "here I am telling my girl to blog, and I'm not in that pool,yet. So here I am, in the deep-end, getting ready to bore one and all with my eccentricities or lack thereof, by the way "Mentlgas" means (on my planet) fuel for thought, or a brain fart, I have them both quite often.
I moved in with a friend last month. He was residing in a beautiful two-bedroom house, with a bed and a computer desk...Lucky him, I have enough furniture to help him develope claustrophobia, Lucky him.
Actually, it works pretty well except for the fact he ran into my solid Oak coffee table that is sitting in the kitchen/dining area (for the last month) and he turned around real fast ( I think he was peeking in on me) oh yea, did I mention that I have the living room as my huge b.r./den/office. and that there are no doors. I have a folding room divider and a free standing clothes rack that I set in front of the double doorway from the kit. to the l.r. and the clothes rack next to it blocking view from the hallway/l.r. doorway...Privacy?? Kinda non-existant at this time, I'm door shopping, believe me. Oh yeah, did I mention that I have two male roomies?
Yes, friends I have job security when it comes to housekeeping. And, as my friends will confirm, I have housekeeping issues from WAY back (lack of interest) I have taken on a charactor remodification effort to improve my bad habits and create good new ones. I am doing well,(it's less difficult when its a newly remodeled home that is worth being proud of) whatever it is, its working for me, and I'm the gardener,too.
I have a dilemma with my front lawn...I have effing toadstools! I think its the oak tree that is half dead, and the roots are rotting under the lawn, and viola' (?) toadstools. They are little and burn off by noon, but I was personally effected by their existance ( I feel like I'm becoming "Hank Hill"!
I mowed the lawn good and short this afternoon, Jimy's parents are coming from Vegas for the weekend and I wanted everything to look just right. Oh yeah, did I tell you that they own the house, and they think that Jimy and I are an "item" that is the only way that my living here will work.They havent come in the house ,yet. Last month they took Jimy and I to dinner, and they needed to head for Vegas early because a storm was coming and they wanted to get home early.His mom wants me to build or get a doghouse for Pooty, since she doesnt even let her poodle in her own house. Right...Jimy said dont worry about it. Pooty gets the footon, she's moved up in the world, from her easy chair to a huge footon...oh,a dogs life , there's even a doggy door going to the backyard, Pooty thinks she died and is in Heaven. She can go out and go cah cah without waiting for me to wake up and get motivated enough to put on some shoes,put on her leash, sit down again, smoke a cigarette , while she stands at the front door looking back at me, wagging her tail. Ok ,a half hour later, another smoke, and she's doing the potty dance "talking" to me (probably lucky I dont speak "pooty" or I would get my feelings hurt)Yeah, the apartment had its drawbacks, other than the mexican music playing at deaf decibals, or the drug dealers hanging around, or the roaches from Hell)
Yep, I sure miss the worry...
Pooty is good with her bodily funtions.
On every other friday I would drive to Santa Maria, and pick up my daughter and drive back, around 5-5.5 hours straight in the car. Pooty had issues with going potty anywhere other that home, I would pull over, let her out, she would walk around in that "she's gotta shit" semi-bent over posture, and nothing had that "ok to do duty here" smell...ack...
So afetr a couple of trips with the same scenario playing, I decided to take drastic measures or she's gonna get colon cancer,with a leaky bladder, to boot, so one night I got out and walked over to some bushes (somewhere near McKittrick) and I took a squat, and "bingo" that was all it took, she figured it was ok, I'm such a "Pack Leader" Cesar would be proud.
Ok my jabber fingers are going to stop.
I hope I "blogged" ok...This was my first time.
Kinda cool.
Love, Me